tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77384760900841969502023-11-15T23:44:19.861-08:00The Rainbow Sweatera memoir in prose by the poet Bree in Cleveland, OH. (copywhat 2010)Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-35813065948548325402011-08-19T06:58:00.000-07:002011-08-19T06:58:02.719-07:00Rainbow Sweater now available at wubbit.comgo to <a href="http://www.wubbit.com/WUBBIT/secure/shop/results.aspx?search=bree">http://www.wubbit.com/WUBBIT/secure/shop/results.aspx?search=bree</a><br />
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to buy a copy thru a secure checkout with credit card!Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-11496669730822018562011-08-04T13:39:00.000-07:002011-08-04T13:40:14.628-07:00Cover Et Al<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2SUhc-ejHDbaPN_Nida3izQt4ux44noqLqUJd6i9UK0vDqMbMAUZOPcDqDScxvb4erss3aOn9X8EE7TFXAd3NEP-sK62_njPXDuEvniwmxkBSPYYQK7mdtm-lJ48lA6qXJLyrDvM1-c/s1600/langcoverrainbowsweater.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="271" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2SUhc-ejHDbaPN_Nida3izQt4ux44noqLqUJd6i9UK0vDqMbMAUZOPcDqDScxvb4erss3aOn9X8EE7TFXAd3NEP-sK62_njPXDuEvniwmxkBSPYYQK7mdtm-lJ48lA6qXJLyrDvM1-c/s400/langcoverrainbowsweater.jpg" /></a></div><br />
CLICK PHOTO ABOVE TO READ JACKET BLURBZ<br />
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Book will land in Panda's lap late August. <b>ORDER NOW</b>! if you are among the first 25 to order you will get a copy of <b>Last Days of May<i></i></b>, a CD compilation of hypergiant world music scenarios by <b>Latex Menagerie</b> featuring early spoken word recordings by Clevelanders <b>Bree, Christopher Franke, and Russell Vidrick</b>. and who knows, maybe a Panda goodie or two. (def a Panda goodie or 2).<br />
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the book is $10, plus $3 for (US) shipping. send cash/check to green panda press/3174 berkshire rd/cleve. hts. oh 44118 or PayPal greenpandapress@gmail.comPressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-16505832635604287372011-07-09T15:00:00.000-07:002011-07-09T15:03:07.737-07:00The Rainbow Sweaterforthcoming is the Cleveland poet <b>Bree's</b> the <i>Rainbow Sweater & My Mother</i>, two memoirs in a single volume centering around LSD, marriage, karma, sex, chronic pain & Buddhism. follow this blog to hear of its release and to find out how you can own a copy! look for it in very late Summer 2011...enjoy a few chapters until then....Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-61691696865319467652010-11-06T18:35:00.001-07:002010-11-09T14:05:48.985-08:00Chapter One<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE RAINBOW SWEATER</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">to learn is a thing of beauty.</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">once you know, it becomes</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">your duty to do a thing right,</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">every time, please do it quick!</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">(o, do it quick)</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">because to learn is a genuine</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">diamond, with a hardness</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">im finding hard to resist,</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">with my hands in a fist</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">i cant take your gifts,</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">o, teacher wont you school me?</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">please dont be cruel to me,</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">so much is new to me,</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">all i knows what i see</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">i cant remember, </span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">what i hear ill soon forget.</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">when you show me with </span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">your hands, like that, </span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">youll find im not so thick</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">because to learn is a thing of beauty</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">and youre it it it it it.</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">PART ONE</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">000</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">there was this time i got myself blue. it was a series of times over years, really. beginning with an acid trip, it continued until i cooked fine dining, then it weaned. i lived behind a bank at first, in a virtually free sunroom with maybe four or five roommates. i stayed in exchange for cooking the occasional family style dinner and did odd light-housework. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i did acid a few times before i moved in, but after, i did it lots. one time was the day before i had to go and ‘pass’ high school. i needed to present to members of the faculty a finishing paper summing up my experience shadowing someone in their field for two weeks, tell the admin what i gleaned, and turn in a final paper. on the acid i later ate, i thot, ‘i dont need a piece of paper, some document, to tell me i passed; made it through high school.’ a typical thot, i imagine, had on acid, the eve of graduation. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">before those thoughts id spent the afternoon at the library using the free computer to print out my final paper. we are talking about the day before it was due. quite a pretty piece, if a last-minute one, on how sometimes in a field of the arts a person must do a job they also have passion for but pays the bills too. an almost equal passion, maybe. in the best case scenario, anyhow. until it isnt necessary to perform both passions. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i had shadowed a folk musician. i made flyers for him, and helped build a PR kit; sent a press release or two. and he did what i interpreted to be Buddhist things, Zen things along the way, but which turned out to be stoned present stranger. his second passion was plants. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">landscaping paid his bills and things. among other things wed gone plant-shopping. he and i were mutually enmeshed in an unsavory crowd who delighted each other, stoned or unstoned, playing music or discussing aerodynamics, in and around a coffeeshop. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">there was a guy from the coffeeshop who walked the surrounding streets, all May, in a rainbow sweater, down to his knees, wearing pink Lennon glasses and a shaved head. he had a sheet and began by selling it, and ended by giving it away, tiny cube of blotter paper at a time. when he started giving it away he was calling it Life. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">it was rumored he quit his engineering job.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"wanna eat Life, today?" hed ask. anyone. who looked friendly.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">so when i got in from the library, some of us ate Life, and Rainbow Sweater was there and most of us actually hadnt eaten, but were killing time before going to various jobs in the hospitality industry. but i had eaten. and because it was day, and i didnt have to work, and had no partners in crime, i climbed myself up on one of those Cleveland Heights bookshelves, the kind built-in that grow about two-and-a-half-feet short of the ceiling. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i brot my poetry stack with me, and curled myself in the nook it made. and i read the stack, my mind flashing, really feeling the acid. music clumb behind the words as my brain listened to my brain recite me. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Rainbow Sweater came over and stared up at my perch, asked me what i was doing.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“hey funny girl. and you are….” he rolled his hand as if encouraging the flow of traffic. his voice curled up to SNL sarcastic.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"im just reading some of my poems, to try and memorize."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i looked him in the eyes.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he walked away to the kitchen, and returned to shake something small in his hand up-at-me.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"what do you have there?" i asked him.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"food coloring," he said, and tossed it to me. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i caught it clean. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he looked cryptic, in the face. i was wondering, also, i knew better than to rest my mind anyplace too long, on acid. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i examined the vial in my hand. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"what am i supposed to do with this?" i asked. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he shrugged, and said, "put it on."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"ha!" i laughed, and put a little in the palm of my hand. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i rubbed it in my hands like lotion. it was gorgeous. every shade of blue, depending on how viscous the source, and how far it spread. i colored my arms blue. i went for the face next, removing my derby, a Dobbs a homeless man in a three-piece-suit sold me for three dollars, that looked to be new at the time. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i decided, after my ears and face were covered, i mays well do my neck.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Rainbow Sweater interrupted my blueness, "so you write poems," he said, "what makes you think you can write poems?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"they come to me, and i write them down," i explained. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"im a poet," i added, as it seemed this wasn't enough.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"they pop in my head."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"you think you have the authority to call yourself a poet?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"its not authority," i started.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">but i couldnt finish. Rainbow Sweater made his way on the floor beneath me to the living room. i looked at the poem on top of my stack: ‘The Dust Catcher’. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I am the Dust Catcher, Mother.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am Woman. I surround you.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let me be your eyes, your womb, your </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">canvass, your plaything, your tomb.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I purify the stray, lick cock</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">for the damned, lead your pen,</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">guide your brush, bend</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">your step that you might hush</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">in my eternal love, forgiven.”</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">‘um, yeah,’ i thot to myself. ‘thats cocky.’</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i looked at the next poem. it was about a wolf fucking the moon as a great apology. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">‘like i know anything about the moon!’ i chastised myself.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">and i rumpled the poems.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">thats when i decided not to want to rely on things paper.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">then Sean came in, awake and smiling, sunshine positively cascading from the top of his forehead in ringlets and rays. well, maybe sunlight didnt really. Sean hadnt been there when the LSD got passed. he was the reason i had the sunroom, a friend id made fast, since he also had what he thot was a book of poems, 'in the editing phase', and had only just been cheated on, like me. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he said, "Bree, isnt tomorrow your turn-in day for that paper?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">and i said, "yeah, but i think im going to tear that paper up."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">and he pointed to the pile of paper, what to me appeared to be steaming and blue, down under my shelf. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"is that what this mess is about?" </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he went on, "and why are you and it blue?"</span></div>Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-42742092256055196542010-11-06T18:33:00.001-07:002010-11-09T14:06:33.300-08:00Chapter Two<link href="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Owner/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">000</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Brian and i spent hours today, just driving from place to place, looking for sugar gum. for many years now, when i wake from a couch nap it is with an awful yuck taste in my mouth. a sour, earthy taste that will not be cowed by mouthwash or tooth brushings. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i eat some raw cauliflower, to scrape what of the yuck i can from my teeth, at least, and drink any number of liquids, but the taste persists. since i have been steadily on the early day shift now, i am all the more prone to couch naps, and as determined to battle the taste.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i happen meanwhile, to loathe mint. plus, i am allergic to artificial sweeteners, so a good, mint-free sugar gum is my bet. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">we looked today many places for Big Red: spicy, and free of Asperteme, hell, Big Red might just burn the taste out. except, no place had Big Red. there were so many gums, rows and rows everyplace we shopped. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i found Juicyfruit but when i showed it to Brian he just said, “you hate Juicyfruit.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">one guy working at CVS told me he had never heard of Big Red.</span></div>Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-89606155244396754402010-11-06T18:32:00.001-07:002010-11-09T14:07:25.517-08:00Chapter Three<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">000 </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">one night of the sunroom i ate LSD because no one was around to entertain, or to entertain me. i put on Nina Simone. then, as almost a second thought, i followed with my strappy floor length red velvet graduation dress. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i looked at myself in the dress. it needed contrast. i decided, it needed blue. i got the food coloring vial and went to town. i dyed just the parts of me what showed through the red dress. and then my feet got to itchin, and i left the apartment building, with no shoes.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">there was no one on the streets. the occasional car was seemingly all that even moved about. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">it was nearing three in the morning, a still time i had been awake for lately. supercharged with Nina Simones 'Sinnerman' blaring in my tripping brain, i moved on towards the parking garage, where acoustics were fine and privacy was sure. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">except it didnt end up being sure.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i was singing my head off with the walls sending it back in low, lovely increment. clapping in time, i almost didnt catch the cautious footsteps of the cop who entered and neared. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i stopped singing.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i looked at him.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i smiled my best. but i didnt get up. i stayed perched on the steps, a bit self-conscious about the blue and no shoes, my voice and my red dress.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">the cop tipped his hat and said, "good evening, Maam."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"how are you, tonight?" i managed, with stilted dignity.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">the cop was on the young side of thirty. a sturdy blond, not unattractive, i wondered that id not seen him before, seeing how id lived and walked the neighborhood for years.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"i am well. i am more worried about you," the cop said. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"what are you doing?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"oh, im singing!" i told him, as my foot began a tap of its own.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he stood on the landing below the stair. he ignored my tap.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"i heard," he said, "you sounded pretty good!”</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">the conversation didnt fit my nervousness, so i relaxed a notch. that is when my toes curled themselves sound as a hedgehog, and stayed still.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"thanks.”</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"the acoustics are so good in here, is why i came," i offered.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“theres been recent calls about purse snatchings in this parking garage," the cop warned me.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he kept one hand below his back, as if clearing passage for anyone who came by.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"oh, i dont have a purse!" i exclaimed, showing my empty blue hands.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"i guess youre right about that!" shyly and sweetly, the cop laughed agreement.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"well, be careful, at any rate.” </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“you never know just who will come in here," he sagely said.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">and with a tip of the hat the cop walked back to his patrol car and drove off, his tires making the least amount of noise as if thotful of the gravel, twigs and other dreck beneath.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">a few beats for the irony to sink in, and i got up as well; walked away, not singing.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">as i walked i forgot my surroundings, so wrapped up in how he didnt ask my name! or how old i was, and at 18, i did not look 18, buddy. and where were my shoes? i was wrapped up in having got away with. something about the blue and LSD like a sheath had held me in, impervious. </span></div>Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7738476090084196950.post-42204961296547633432010-11-06T18:31:00.001-07:002010-11-09T14:07:58.472-08:00Chapter Four<link href="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Owner/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: large;">000</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sean began picking up my rumpled blue poems. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“this doesnt look like a <i>paper</i>,” he remarked. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Bree, what did you do?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“oh, those?” i said. “thosre my so-called poems, garbage, really.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“oh my god,” Sean said, and took the crumpled papers gingerly in his arms. he carried them into his room.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">he came back over to the bookcase. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">all serious in the eyes now, “im keeping those until you want them back.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“keep them forever,” i said, not feeling what i said.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">i climbed down from my perch. i went to get a smoke but Sean grabbed my arm. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Breanna, where the hell is your paper?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bree is not short for anything. Sean always called me <i>Breanna</i> when he was serious or excited, or mad at me. i liked it.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“its right here,” i said, “relaxxx. its just words typed out. they dont deem being turned over to the authorities.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">in my head i mused on the word ‘author’ being in the word ‘authorities’.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“none of us are so <i>author</i>ized.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;">and with that i tore my paper into strips.</span>Pressin Onhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02875715937095082907noreply@blogger.com0